Does same-sex love bother you?
Do you have a problem with people having Mohawks?
Do you hate the pimples on Nebuchadnezzar’s face?
Does the fact that Camilla has no ass irk you?
Do you hate that some of us listen to Pink Floyd?
Does the fact that we love beer annoy you?
Do you have a problem with people who read or write erotica?
Do you hate the fact that old ladies are turning up for public functions in pajamas? (PS. I am the old ladies. The old ladies is me.)
Yes? OMG! You answered yes to all this?
Okay, Karen. Thank you very much for sharing with us your concerns, but here’s another round of questions.
In what direct way does same love affect you? Do they have any interest in you? No? Okay, take this. (kick)
Is the Mohawk on your head? No? Take this. (slaps)
Are you having your meals off of Nebuchadnezzar’s face? No? Take this (acid in the mouth), and, don’t forget to buy plates for your kitchen.
Are you dating Camilla? No? Take this. (punches), and, let Camilla enjoy her flat behind in peace.
Do we force you to listen to Pink Floyd? No? have we ever invited you to his concert? No? Take this (gets thrown off a hill)
Has anyone forced-fed you beer? No? Take this (gets a wonderful splash of magma on their back)
Were you invited to an erotica reading? Did the author force you to write for them erotica? No? Take this (gets high-fived in the face with a lawnmower.)
Are these old ladies directly related to you? No? Go and hang yourself with toilet paper, Karen.
What is your problem, Karen? Why are you such a bore, Karen? We’re bothered by the fact that everything bothers your already bother-clogged bothersome mind.
Take a knee, Karen.