Root for YOU

I get messages from people – my friends, strangers, and probably Trump’s grandpa, too. They tell me, ‘Anne, I love your lifestyle. I like how you do your thing. I love the good life you’re living. You got it all figured out.’

Bollocks! I’m here to trash all that. I’ve got nothing figured out. I pass through most of my days in zombie-mode, autopilot, or whatever the heck else you care to call it. Almost every single day, I doubt myself, doubt my writing, ask myself who tf I think I, why I’m walking this earth, and a lot else. When someone says they love me, I wonder why they should love a deaf, confused nincompoop who doesn’t see life beyond the hem of her fringy skirt. When I get a client, I doubt myself and feel like an imposter. Other times, I just long to cross over to the other side and be rid of everything. Other times, I question God on numerous things. “Why make my life this wonky?”, “Isn’t it enough that I’m deaf?”, “Why are you so cruel?”, “Why let me come into this awful world?” Then I ask myself, “Why am I even alive?”

And that, folks, is the life of this “glamorous lady” whom you want to be like.

No, I’m not here to complain or discourage you. I’m here to tell you summat else.

I’ve just given you a peek into my life.

There are people out there having it worse than I, and there are those having it worse than them. To sum it all up, we’re all fighting certain “demons”. Maybe you hate your life because you’re holding off fighting your demons. Is that it?

We’re all learning…continuously, and amidst all that, we need to focus on ourselves, not on the girl next door who looks like she has it all. She’s probably battling with serious depression, and you’ll only find out after she’s committed suicide.

I’m not aiming to be like anyone who isn’t me. I’m aiming to be a better Anne who knows how to civilly handle people who just can’t understand what it means to be perfectly abled, without breaking their front teeth or something. I’m aiming to be an Anne who edits her clients’ work satisfactorily and writes novels that her fans will love. I’m aiming to be Anne who will be very comfortable with being Anne, imperfections and all.
Before anything else, focus on yourself.

Harken to my voice, ye.

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